rachaelizabeth

so things have changed a little for mark and i. we are settling down and seeking god and personal growth and knowing each other more deeply more…

we’ve been meeting with anthony and debra who i’ve known for over ten years and met with throughout that time. they have been there for me alot. deb’s my life long mentor. they are both g.r.e.a.t.

so this waiting game of “when are we going to get married” has taken on more meaning. god has things for us to do for us and for our future children and family life. we need to sow seeds now that we will reap in the future. and i intend to. and i slowly have been. but i need to up it. hopefully starting today. something holds me back a little bit. randomly i have a jason upton song in my head, that i haven’t listened to in ages that goes…
         we’re so afraid to admit the brokeness inside…
         i know victory, victory is yours…
         and more that i can’t think of now that i’m trying to type them out…

mark and i have things to work on…i want us to have a very purposeful, vision-driven family. and we have some major road blockages on that path. and i feel a bit overwhelmed but i’m just going to pray. and pray.

sigh.

so that’s what i’m going to do soon. in my real journal.

it’s like we are in our senior year. we are almost done. almost ready to move forward in life. but not yet. we have to settle down and do the much needed work of this last season/year. and we can’t skip it or let senioritis in. we’re not going to quit school and just get our g.e.d. (ie just say forget it and elope or something). we are going to do this. and invest in our future. it’s very important now to sow seeds even though they mostly won’t spring up until much later. but by then it’d be too late to sow them.

lord, help us. immensely. HELP! like every step of the way. even when we forget to take a step and just get distracted. keep us moving. remind us. challenge us. discipline us. teach us. heal us. wash us. come to us. call us. train us. make us into the people who you want us to be who are able to be the kind of parents we want to be to the kind of children that we want to have and see grow up into the kind of people that you want them to be, whatever that looks like.

come, lord jesus, come. and do all the things that need to be done.
we trust you.

i’m increasingly loving the color green. like vintage green.

and i love the word vintage and what it means.

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and i <3 this blog and the colors and the set up and its existence :)
though i do not know when it shall be unveiled :P