rachaelizabeth

today, i get out of work early and then mark and i are meeting up in portsmouth to read at starbucks and then we are going out to eat with his brother matthew…i call him matt-hew (the ‘hew’ rhymes with ‘chew’) and mark calls him maboo :)

we didn’t start our new books yet like i said we would last time so tonight is the the night!!! unless we feel tired, or like we just don’t wanna read…it’s usually an inward fight with both of us cause we don’t feel like hunkering down and actually reading but we never regret it once we do…we usually get a good amound of conversation from whatever we read…and that’s the point :) and we each get a venti latte of some sort to comfort our studiousness. mark frequently makes gay references in some form or another about men buying lattes, because real men should just drink regular coffee, don’t you know…but he doesn’t really care enough to not get them. he loves them. and rightly he should. they are the best. like a hot ice cream sundae or something. his gay jokes are really what other men would say about him were they there with him but…i almost said “screw them!” but i don’t think that’s what i actually want to say…

whatev.

i’m not seeing mark this weekend because i’ve decided to take one weekend off a month to just be. and that’ll probably entail cleaning, napping, reading, thinking, and praying. and eating. and probably doing at least one thing with my roommate, sabrina. and teasing my cat…

oh and i’m taking my grandmother out to eat on saturday for her 83rd birthday :) i like that i’ve always had a good relationship with her…she’s a good grandmother…and i’m thankful that she’s pretty healthy and with it…mark and i always joke about how our grandmothers can’t hear and always say “HEH!?” i hope my grandmother will be able to see at least my first born kid, that’d be cool :) hopefully i get to have kids, hopefully they are perfectly healthy and hopefully i have at least one boy and one girl. that’s my prayers.

i’ve had a number of cat scans in my life because of my stomach issues and i’ve heard those can effect my eggs. well, i’ve heard that it can from one doctor and heard that it can’t from another doctor and i read on msn that i’m pretty much screwed myself because of all the radiation i’ve been exposed to and i’m at a way higher risk for cancer, like any day now? … yeh, i’m not letting myself believe that. the night i read that article i pretty much freaked out and had to pray and read psalm 91 and it was perfect. it completely addressed my fear and then peace swept over me. so i’m not as afraid about it now. i’ll pray. people will pray. i’m planning on saving my babies’ cord blood…hopefully, if we can afford it..and god is in control. and if he wants to create eternal lives thru me, then he will. i really hope he will. and he’ll oversee them being knit together in my womb. not that me or my babies will be exempt from hardships…there’s a possibility for things to go wrong. i’m coming to terms with that. but the fear won’t stop me. maybe i’ll have the healthiest kids this world has ever known :P

this post was very random.